It is on the crossroads of science, philosophy, and human nature that we can be assured of the truth of one God-given fact: that the Earth is flat.  It is only through two ways that we can disprove this inevitably correct theorem; either through false mass hysteria of a sublime and non-existent truth, or through the instincts of philosophy and the natures of science that may disprove this now forgotten theorem.  Ladies and gentlemen, I will disprove the tarnished theory that the world is an oblate spheroid and instead enlighten you with the truth, and that is, that is Earth is indeed flat.

Now, let us first adjust some commonly mistaken vocabulary.  First off, there are no hemispheres. There are simply hemiplanes.  As well, the theorem that the world is flat is not associated with any specific religions, yet many religions do champion a geocentric model above a heliocentric model.

One of the first questions that people ask are; then how are pictures from space making the earth looked spherical?  The Earth is actually on an infinitely long and wide plane, but the only depth is that of with the Earth provides. Anyway, back to the question: many satellite telescopes, like the Hubble Space Telescope, have an outer concave lens, distorting the image of the Earth, which is then reflected in a different convex lens.  If these different lens have even slightly different strengths, then the image is distorted. When taking a picture with a camera inside a pressurized cabin, with the bent camera lens and the atmospheric conditions, the photographs may easily altered simply by the instruments. Another theory of this is that during the Cold War, the USA and USSR were in such competition that they faked their space accomplishments.  Other space agencies joined, as it is much cheaper to bribe than it is to make a successful voyage to space.

Day and night cycles on a flat Earth are quite simple.  The Sun revolves around the North Pole, and when it is above you, it is daytime.  When the Sun’s orbit is farther away from the northern hemiplane, it is winter in the northern hemiplane, and thus, summer in the southern hemiplane.

Gravity, gentlemen, is a truly, grossly, misunderstood force.  Gravity, is actually, a quite minute force, and there are debates on whether it even exists.  The earth, however, is actually accelerating upwards at 9.8 meters per second, squared. The earth is constantly accelerating, causing everything to be pushed downwards.  This is truly within the laws of physics, as it does not violate Albert Einstein’s theory of special relativity, which states that an object can accelerate infinitely without reaching the speed of light.  As well, the Earth can never be formed into a sphere because of gravity since it is on an infinitely large plane.

The Earth actually resembles a disc, with the North Pole at the center and Antarctica bordering the edge. Circumnavigation is the movement around the North Pole in a circular fashion.  Antarctica is a large ice wall of large importance and scientific intrigue in the Flat Earth Society. Little is know about this barren “barrier”, except for the fact that is protects the Earth from some force and holds back our oceans.

As one can see, the the theorem, and it is a theorem, that the Earth is flat is true and grossly misused and under-supported.  The Flat Earth Society thanks these fine patrons of this enlightening article and thanks them for their time.  After all; “The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance.”

And there is naught a truth that can claim to be purer than this.  Many all feel the truth and be pure and good. Help society, than, be dispelling the ignorance of the Earth’s true form and enlightening the people of the good, and of the truth.

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”

Bibliography

1. “The Flat Earth Society.” The Flat Earth Society. N.p., n.d. Web. 01 Apr. 2015.
2. “Socrates Quotes.” Quotery. N.p., n.d. Web. 01 Apr. 2015.
3. “Concave Earth Theory.” The Wild Heretic. N.p., n.d. Web. 01 Apr. 2015.

Written and Edited by [REDACTED]

The above article does not in any instance, support or represent my views, or the [REDACTED] view on the shape and features of the Earth.  This article is not intended to be taken seriously.  All sources were cited, with the exception of my brain.  Do not redistribute without my direct permission. Thank you for your time.